


The Party

by GE72



Category: Kids Incorporated
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Recycled jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GE72/pseuds/GE72
Summary: It's a party at The P*lace that's a guaranteed laugh....in. Think about it when you look it up in your Funk and Wagnalls.





	The Party

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from the episode "The Great Comeback" where Ruth Buzzi played a homeless woman that the Kids helped get back on her feet. For those of a certain generation, Buzzi will be known for her time on "Laugh-In." So I combined an 80's kids show with a late 60's classic, keeping it clean, and like the show itself, recycled the jokes.  
> If you don't know what "Laugh-In" is, ask your parents, or look it up in your Funk and Wagnalls.

Kids Incorporated just finished a set at The P*lace. As they came down from the stage, they saw a familiar face at the counter waiting for them.

“Hi Blanche!” they said to her. Blanche Turner was a former homeless woman the Kids had found resting inside the back room at The P*lace and helped get back on her feet. 

“How are you doing?”

“I’m doing great!” she replied. “And yourselves?”

“Just as good,” Ryan said. “What brings you here?”

“Well, I was wondering if my grandson can have a private party here,” Blanche replied. “It would be for his fifteenth birthday. You would all be invited of course.”

“Riley’s the one to ask,” Gloria said.

Riley, manager of The P*lace, was behind the counter. “I don’t see a problem,” he said. “When would this party be?”

“Next Saturday.”

“No problem.”

“Thanks,” Blanche said. 

“We’ll be there,” Renee said. “If you want us to play, we can.”

“Thanks,” Blanche said. “You’re more than welcome to.” 

“We’ll let you know,” Gloria said. “So how’s everything?”

“Everything’s doing great. I’ve contacted some old friends of mine. They were glad to hear from me. I’m going to see some of them over the next few days.”

“And your family?”

“They’re great. They were okay with me having the party here, just as long as nothing gets out of hand.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll behave,” The Kid said.

“Are your fingers crossed behind your back?” Renee asked.

“Good,” Blanche said. “You know, my friends back then, said parties are meant to do the following: let love in, let fun in and let laughs in.” 

“Good to know,” said Stacy.

“I’ll let you know the details when I get them, so we can make the arrangements,” Blanche said to them. They talked a little more before she said goodbye, and the Kids headed back to the stage. As they did, Gloria pondered what Blanche had said. 

Let love in, let fun in, let…. _laugh in?_

 

It was close to six o’clock Saturday night when the private party got underway at The P*lace. The birthday boy was there, along with a bunch of his friends, herded in by Blanche. The band watched as they came streaming in.

“Wow, that’s a lot of people!” exclaimed Renee.

“He has a lot of friends,” added Stacy.

Gloria and Ryan met Blanche at the door.

“Hopefully, this isn’t too much,” Blanche said.

“No, it’s fine,” Gloria said. “Riley will be busy tonight.” For this occasion, Riley had ordered extra ice cream and sodas for everyone.

“Just who is who here?” Ryan asked.

“Well, it’s mostly Jimmy’s friends,” Blanche said. She began to point them out to the others. “That’s Henry, Alan, Artie, Richard, Dennis, Jeremy, and Johnny, and that’s Judy, Lily, Joanne, Pamela, Teresa, and Barbara.”

“Keep an eye out an anyone who isn’t supposed to be here,” Gloria said, “or who tries to crash the party.”

Gloria and Ryan joined the others on stage, and played a few songs for the birthday crowd. The party goers cheered as they danced to the music.

When they were done, the Kids along with their backup musicians and dancers, went on to the floor, as music played over the sound system.

Blanche came up to them. “Having fun yet?”

“We sure are!” The Kid replied.

“That’s great! Why don’t you go and meet with the others.” 

A new song came on over the speakers, and everyone began dancing to the music. The Kids went off into the crowd, danced, and mingled.

The music stopped for a bit, and Gloria could hear some of her bandmates talking.

Renee said to The Kid, “I'm looking forward to the day when we have the first woman president of the United States!”

The Kid replied, “Well, I'm looking forward to when we have the first black president of the United States!”

“But knowing our luck, we'd get stuck with some loser who has no idea what he's doing.”

“Like George Bush?”

“Or one of his sons.”

Gloria just shook her head upon hearing that. She moved past the band’s two dancers, Andrea and Wendy. 

“I couldn’t believe all the violence on the news the other day,” Wendy said. “All those people shoving each other, getting into fights, getting all bloodied up.” 

“What were they rioting about?” Andrea asked. “And where was it happening?”

“It wasn’t a riot. It was all these girls trying to get in line for Duran Duran concert tickets!”

The music came on again, and the partygoers began to dance around. 

After a couple of songs, Gloria went over to the counter, where Ryan was talking to Blanche.

Blanche said to Ryan, “I understand you like to read.”

“I do,” he replied. “In fact, I just got done reading ‘Candy.’”

“What did you think?”

“It was good, but thirty minutes later, I was hungry again!”

Riley said to them, “Did you hear about this new book out, called ‘The Art of The Deal,’ by that millionaire, Donald Trump? I heard they may have to add a new chapter to it – chapter eleven.”

The others winced at the bad, albeit somewhat truthful, joke. Gloria got a glass of water from Riley, as she heard their drummer Mario talking with Stacy.

“In history class,” he said to her, “we’re learning about how England lost all their colonies.”

Stacy replied, “Did they ever look under the couch?”

Mario looked over to Gloria. “You know,” he said to Gloria, “sometimes, getting through to Stacy is like trying to get Reagan to remember when he last talked to Oliver North.”

Gloria nodded in agreement, knowing that even at ten years old, Stacy could be a little dense in the head.  
“So, Mario,” Gloria said to him, “anything new with your family?”

“Not much,” he said. “Last week, me and my dad went down to Tijuana. We got some stuff for my mom.”

“Like what?”

Mario replied, “We got her some ponchos, picked up a crate of serrano chiles, and a couple of cousins from her side of the family. They all fit in the trunk of our car like you wouldn’t believe.” Gloria looked at him disbelievingly. 

Mario added, “Next week, we might get a couple of my dad’s relatives.”

Gloria excused herself to go to the ladies room. A few minutes later, she returned to the dance floor. After a couple of songs, she turned to head back to the counter, only to find her path blocked by someone she was hoping to never see again.

“Hello beautiful,” Brendan Roberts said to her, his voice oozing with something very morally toxic.

“What do you want and how did you get in here?” Gloria demanded.  


“I have my ways,” he replied.

“So do I,” Gloria said, signaling for Riley to come over and throw Brendan out.

“Oh, come on, Glo baby. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf here. I’m thinking, when I get older, about running for office.”

“Well, it would suit you. You lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate – “

“So, do you wanna be my First Lady?”

“You’re also delusional!” Gloria said, as Riley picked up Brendan by the collar of his loud suit and dragged him out the front door. Gloria headed back to the dance floor, as she heard Stacy talking with Gina.

“Your mom’s going to have a baby?!” Gina exclaimed. “Do you know what that means?”

“Yes,” Stacy replied. “It means I’m going to have a little sister or maybe even a little brother.”

“That, but it also means that your parents had…. you know….”

Stacy suddenly turned five shades of green upon realizing what Gina meant. Gloria turned only two shades of green.

As she recovered from that horrifying thought, Gloria then heard their bass player Darren talking to some of the other partygoers.

“My sister performed a magic trick yesterday,” he said. “She turned my dad’s car into a telephone pole!”

“No,” one of the party goers said, “the real magic trick is getting the insurance company to pay off!”

Gloria went back to the counter, where Andrea and Wendy were talking, while Riley was filling glasses with soda using the fountain hose. Riley was filling a glass with root beer when the sugary fluid stopped coming out of the spigot. He looked at it and started shaking it around. He then began to press the buttons, from root beer to coke to water….

“…you know what I would say to him?” Wendy was saying to Andrea. “Sock it to me!”

Suddenly, water came shooting full speed out of the spigot in Riley’s hand, dousing Wendy completely from the neck up. Andrea and Gloria jumped back so not to get hit by the spray themselves, before Riley turned off the spigot.

“Sorry Wendy,” Riley said, as he put the spigot down and handed her a towel.

As Wendy dried herself off, Gloria headed back to the stage, where the rest of the band was getting ready for another set.

“Hey Gloria,” Ryan said, “Kid was telling me about this group with a funny sounding name.”

“What was their name?” she asked. “The 1910 Fruit Gum Company?”

“Nope,” The Kid replied. “They called themselves…The Mills Brothers!”

The band played another set of songs, much to the delight of the kids in attendance.

The party ended around nine o’clock, and the kids all said goodbye to the party goers.

“Thanks kids,” Blanche said to the band. “My grandson had the best birthday ever.”

“We aim to please,” Ryan said. 

“Maybe we can have another party like this soon,” Stacy said. 

Renee said, “Maybe next time we can even invite Billy The Dweeb.”

“Anyone but him,” Stacy said back.

“And with that, let’s call it a night,” The Kid said. “Say good night everybody.”

Ryan said “Good night everybody.”


End file.
